Good morning, everyone. Like 12 million people around the country, and probably many of you, I was glued to my TV set a couple of Thursday evenings ago for the finale of The Celebrity Traitors, a game of trust and betrayal set in a Scottish castle. If you haven’t seen it, here’s the gist: some players are “faithful,” others are “traitors,” and everyone’s trying to survive without being banished. It’s a tense and dramatic show, full of twists and surprises.
And what a final it was, with Joe Marlar’s plan to eliminate Alan Carr falling apart at the very end as Nick Mohammed, Joe’s number 1 ‘hundy’, or 100% faithful, heartbreakingly turned and voted against his best friend Joe. In fact, if you look really closely you can just about see the moment that Joe Marlar’s heart breaks at this betrayal in the next image…
On the surface, it’s pure entertainment. But underneath, I’d argue the final episode was a fascinating lens on what it means to be a man today.
Social media went wild for The Celebrity Traitors, but one post in particular from Jamie Laing caught my eye. Focusing on the support and friendship shown towards each other by the three final contestants, historian David Olusuga, actor Nick Mohammed, and comedian Alan Carr, Laing commented “this is what modern masculinity looks like!! Masculinity isn’t about putting on a strong face, taking shots at competitors, or revelling in someone else’s weakness. It’s about having the strength to appear vulnerable, losing gracefully, and supporting others when they’re down. What a beautiful moment and what incredible TV.”
Jamie’s message resonated strongly with me; it felt thrilling to see such a positive, caring and strong representation of modern masculinity on mainstream TV, particularly as this morning we mark International Men’s Day, which falls on Wednesday 19th November. International Men’s Day is a chance to rethink what masculinity means in 2025, and a time to celebrate the positive impact men and boys can have in our world. So, with that in mind, what exactly does The Traitors have to tell us about being a man in 2025? I have three thoughts to share with you…
Firstly, The Celebrity Traitors puts people under intense pressure. Every decision is public and every emotion is judged, and that pressure reveals character and resilience.
When you think of strength, what comes to mind? Muscles? Control? Silence? The Traitors showed us something different. Traditionally, men have been told that strength means not showing weakness. But in The Traitors, the men who stand out and win the respect of viewers are often those who do show emotion, who admit when they’re anxious, form genuine friendships, and show hurt when they’re betrayed – as we saw with rugby player Joe Marlar.
And when they do that, they challenge a dangerous old stereotype: that masculinity means toughness, control, and silence, because what we actually see in the show is that strength can mean vulnerability, which is a powerful type of courage.
Secondly, in the show everyone wears a mask, both figuratively and literally, especially the Traitors, who hide, pretend, and perform. But by the end, that double life becomes exhausting; just look at how Alan Carr broke down in tears at the end of the final.
In my view that’s a striking metaphor for modern masculinity: many young men, and indeed older men too, feel a pressure to “perform” a version of themselves: the confident, funny, successful one, the version that looks fine on the outside even when life feels really challenging inside.
But that kind of pretending wears you down, and International Men’s Day is partly about saying ‘you don’t have to wear that mask’, that being male doesn’t mean being (or pretending to be) invincible. It means being real; showing respect, asking for help, supporting others, laughing at yourself, and being kind even when no one’s watching.
The lesson is that being authentically you is what builds trust, which is the foundation of every healthy friendship, team and community.
Thirdly, The Traitors is full of competition, which reflects another tension in masculinity today: that boys and men often feel a pressure to compete, to win, to ‘be the best’. Now don’t get me wrong, competition isn’t inherently bad; it can drive excellence. But in my view there’s a distinction between healthy competition and toxic comparison.
The best players on The Celebrity Traitors succeed not through aggression or manipulation, but through empathy, communication, and emotional intelligence. They read people well, they listen, and they know when to lead and when to back down. That’s a powerful message for all of us, but especially for boys growing up now:
true strength doesn’t come from dominating others, but rather from understanding them.
I asked some of your teachers what they think positive masculinity looks like in 2025, and here were some of their responses:
Mr Long described modern masculinity as “Inclusive, kind, leading by example, being the role model I would have liked growing up, lifting everyone up, talking about the difficult things, being a non-judgemental listener, supporting all, the list goes on.”
Mr Savage commented that “being physically strong and healthy is a good thing. Working out, exercising and eating well should be something that we all strive for. However, in 2025 there is now a much greater emphasis on emotional strength too. Acting as a role model, empathizing and leading/helping others are key traits now. Masculinity used to be about shouting and giving orders from above, whereas now it’s about joining alongside others.”
Mr Twinn said: “Being strong does not mean being able to bench press 100kg or having a six pack. Being strong as a man means taking care of your health, eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep. Being brave doesn't mean that you have to wave a sword at a dragon; being brave as a man means facing something frightening, accepting that you are scared, but going forward and doing it anyway.”
Ultimately, International Men’s Day celebrates men and boys who are there for their friends, who model respect, who speak up against injustice and unfairness in the world, who mentor others, who care for their loved ones, and who make the world a better and kinder place.
So, as we celebrate International Men’s Day this morning, remember this: real strength isn’t about wearing masks or winning at all costs. It’s about trust, honesty, empathy, and courage. That’s how we build a stronger community of kindness, at Chigwell School and the world beyond the school gates, and that’s how we redefine what it means to be a man in 2025.
